I am so very angry, hurt too. My best friend can't think about anyone above herself...its not her fault, it's how she's built. How she's been raised. She did something that people with certainties and hope don't do. And she feels no remorse. And she doesn't care how it effects me. I feel like i'm falling apart being ripped up inside and she admits to only telling me the truth because she needs me to be there for HER, she didn't tell me out of guilt or shame that she might have hurt me and she has no agenda to be there for ME after it all came out, to care for me, to not hurt me. How am I suppose to be ok with that? She said she knows what she did is wrong, but that she really needs her best friend right now, even though what she did cut me to my core, and she doesn't even give a fuck about that. I really do want to punch her, right in the gut...but i can't because i love her. And i realize she's mearly a product of her environment.
I'm suppose to go away with her this weekend.
I don't know if i can do it.
Fuckin fuck the guy who whispers lies into your ears who you've been in love with for years. He's nothing to you, he gets no part of you, he gets no access, no ANYTHING. And fuck her too for screwing around with your head making you feel bad for meanial things because you're a good person who surely and truly loves, when she doesn't have ground to stand on when it comes to caring for others.
Fuck all this.
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